Your tits are I can't wait for
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
