Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
