Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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