I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
