So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
