Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
