He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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