I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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