Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize