Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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