Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
