My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
