We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
