Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
