Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
