just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
