Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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