why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
