Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm having to shit out rocks
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
