Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
