Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
