i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
