my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
