nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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