No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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