How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
