Say something about gay babies.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
