I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
