You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
