Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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