OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
