As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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