I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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