The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize