She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize