I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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