If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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