i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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