There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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