And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
