do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
