I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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