Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
