Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
