Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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