i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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