I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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