What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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