He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize