So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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