umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
