It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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