hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
