: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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