something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
