Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
