My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
