careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
